Cleanse me Lord… Rid me of this white skin
I. C. O. N. I. C.
in middle school we had to do this ‘what i want to be when i grow up’ presentation and one girl in my class stood up and said that she wanted to be like her mum and my teacher literally sat there and said ‘no you dont’ and nobody understood why she said that until we reached high school and we found out that this girls mum is a porn actress
nicki in the background
oHMYGOD taylor’s like “i feel you bro you call them out on their shit” and nicki’s like “gurl he means you”
does anyone else see the guy way back there. that guy that suddenly appears and points at taylor
it gets funnier each time it appears on my dash
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
Things a new Pope shouldn’t say in his first public speech.
Reblogging because this is actually relevant now…
My mom: “Go do some laundry”
Looks at math homework:
There’s no food in the fridge:
Make an A on a test:
Having social interaction:
The fridge one though.
The fridge one killed me.
Love the fact that my dads 80 something year old aunty has this in her lounge room #viagra #water #funny